24

by RebShang

This time last year, I was anxious. What am I doing, where am I going? Uncertain about this. Worried about that. It drove me into this delusional self-obsession into which I not only wallowed, but reveled in. I’m conflicted because I’m important. I’m talented. I’m desired. Then a gentle prodding.

The God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 

I awoke. This life is not my own. I’m supposed to be a lover of God and my neighbors. But I’m selfish – a lover of me. It’s an everyday struggle, this battle of affections. A warring for a throne I’m not fit to behold, yet scramble atop, sceptre gripped firmly to wield my power, my will, my kingdom. 24 is when I’ve been made most aware of this self-sufficiency. One huge lump of pride too thick to swallow. It can only be removed through a posture of yielding. Before a cross. Before a Christ who calls me redeemed.

By grace you have been saved through faith.

Here’s to 25. I’m eager and expectant.

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